if they knew sweet little you

My neighbors have adopted an elephant.

It's nocturnal, because it has the most energy after midnight.

I picture it as a very sad elephant, too, because it cries, nay wails, a lot during the day. Maybe because it can't sleep?

I'm assuming it's a baby elephant, because otherwise it wouldn't be able to fit in their side of the duplex, let alone run from room to room, which it does, which makes all of my walls vibrate.

And I think it's female, because sometimes I hear it singing, and it's a very high-pitched, little-elephant-like voice.

I wonder if it has little pink ribbons tied around its ears?

And guess what: It's Russian. I know this because my neighbors speak to it in Russian, nay, yell at it in Russian, at 1 o'clock in the morning, when it's beating its trunk against the wall that borders my room. Maybe it just came over on the boat from Russia, and that's why it's nocturnal. At midnight here, it's only 11 a.m. there. Is it thinking that it's time for tea?

There is no tea in my wall, no matter how many times you beat it with your trunk.

I wonder if it misses being in the wild?

Are elephants like turtles, which only grow to the size of their cage? Because once this elephant, which I imagine is named something like Anitchka (which means "Grace," how fitting for the little tot), starts to grow, that apartment is not going to be big enough.

Sometimes I get pretty angry, around 3 o'clock in the morning, that there is so much stomping, pounding, yelling, and shaking going on in the duplex next to me. But then I just try to remember that bringing a new baby elephant into the family is not easy, and I should try to have compassion on them.

I would want them to have compassion on me if I adopted, say, a poison dart gun. I mean, what if I accidentally rested it on their windowsill and then my finger twitched and shot a poison dart into their elephant's rump? I would want them to understand, as Anitchka lay silent and unconscious on their bedroom floor, that there's an adjustment period when bringing a new member into one's family. So I should try to be understanding of them, too.

And I do understand.

But if their nocturnal elephant does not learn new sleep patterns and lighter walking techniques, I am going to adopt a velociraptor, which know how to open doors and take down very large animals.

All in the spirit of growing my family in love, of course. Just like my neighbors.